-Right, let’s check the old quest journal here, what to do, what to do... Greybeards!
-A dog alone on the road? That hardly seems safe. Come back here! Stupid dog. I’m trying to help!
-He led me to a cabin? Does he own the place? Who gave a dog a mortgage?
-Your owner died? Oh poor Meeko, I just can’t leave you alone out here. I need to give you a home. No dog should suffer. You can come with us pup.
-My god, I’m the Sarah McLachlan of Skyrim.
-Two dogs? This is allowed? I’m a walking animal shelter. Why is the game okay with this?
-Hey a cat person! You’re trying to sell me drugs? Wait, wait, wait... a talking cat is trying to sell a lizard with two dogs and a women drugs? Buddy, I hardly think any of us need mind altering drugs at the moment.
-I reeeaaaalllly would not attack me right now Mr. Drug Dealing Cat. I’m flanked by dogs. You’re a cat. I mean we are talking about very basic laws of nature here.
-Wow! They ate him so fast! That was amazing! It was like I shot dogs at him! Like some sort of primitive and poorly designed weapon.
-The only downside is the endless barking. I swear you two are trying to have a conversation, which reminds me, would you two PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES!
-Seven thousand steps up to the Graybeards? This must be an exaggeration.
-OH GOD THE STEPS, why can’t I ride one of you worthless dogs?! Why do I have dogs and not horses!? WHY HAVE I CHOSEN SO POORLY!?
-Funny, I don’t recall having vertigo at the start of this climb.
-Bet you don’t get many visitors up here Akatosh, unless you count bears and hypothermia.
-Anyway, Hello Akatosh, let me introduce my little party. This is Punchy, she's a Nord with a penchant for violence and a mysterious past. Snuggleface over here is a talking dog, he might actually be a demon or something, I’m still not clear on his story, OH! Also, he speaks directly to my mind so no one else can hear him but me. This little fella here is Meeko, his last owner died alone in the woods. I don’t think he talks, but the night is still young.
-My name is Dragonface Jones, I’m a sentient bipedal lizard with no formal education. I happen to have a gift for shouting at things. It’s very nice to meet you.
-Huh, never thought NPC’s could look nervous.
-Wait, you want me to shout at him? or the floor? You're going to have to speak up, I can’t hear what your saying over THESE BLASTED DOGS. Excuse me a second, would you?
-FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I WILL TURN THIS CAR RIGHT AROUND! Just give me two GODDAMN minutes of peace and quiet so I can find out what this old man wants me to shout at!
-There, sorry about that. You want me to shout at him? Why? This sounds fetishy to me. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.
-You need me to find a Horn? I’m guessing it’s not in the next room, I mean if it is I’ll get it right now.... wait, no, it’s on a different mountain? *sigh*
-I really should have expected that. Come on pups, our journey takes us elsewhere.
Meeko's last owner was less successful at adventuring than I.
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