Day Two in Skyrim: Bandits and Nudity

Behold, the continuing adventures of Dragonface and Punchy....

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-By my calculations 83% of all residents of Skyrim are bandits living on the outskirts of town.

-These bandits have a blind man as their lookout. Who signed off on this? Mel Brooks?

-I love the Bow, it's like music, the creak of the wood as you draw the arrow back, the "Thromp" of the arrow taking flight, the sound of it tearing through the air followed by the "AAARRGGHH MY EYE ITS IN THE EYE!".

-Punchy is very good at sneaking around even though she is wearing more plate armor than an actual tank.

-This guard is singing a song about poisoning someones grog. In another time and place we would be friends. But in this place he is a heap with an arrow stuck in it.

-Another guard just came by to see what happened to the first. His assessment?, "Hmm, I guess it was nothing." Yep, Jimmy over there must have been pretty worn out from jamming that arrow through his face and needed a nap.

-Two more guards, two more arrows, two more kills. I'M AN ARROWING MACHINE!

-In a world filled with people shooting fire from their hands and screaming people off cliffs I'm running around with pointy sticks. I get the feeling I'm doing this wrong.

-This caged wolf was being tamed by bandits, I would LOVE a wolf partner! I would name him Snuggleface! Me and Punchy could at long last be a real family! Here I come Snuggleface, I'll set you free!

-Snuggleface, 2/9/2012 - 2/9/2012, wild hearts can't be tamed.

-I think Punchy is taking the untimely arrowing of Snuggleface pretty hard.

-Bandit Leader has been found. We approach sneaking, arrow back, arrow flies... and I'm off mark, pegged him in the shoulder. Punchy on the move, second arrow back, second arrow flies, finds its mark in his torso and he crumbles to one knee. Punchy, never breaking stride runs him through with such force that she hoists him into the air, dropping his lifeless body to the ground like a bag of meat. The battle is over.

- PUNCHY IS SUCH A BADASS! That's right Punchy! You show those bitches what the score is!

-This game needs a, "Fist bump with Punchy" option.

-Thank you mangled heap of flesh that used to be a bandit leader, the rightful owner of this sword will be happy to have it back... and I think the local merchant will be verrrry interested in your gloves.

-And your necklace.

-Also that helmet.

-Those pants are awfully nice too.

-Well it would just be silly to leave this body here with nothing but boots. I mean, what would people think if they found this scene later? I better take the boots too.

-Don't give me that look Punchy. You knew damn well what you were getting into when you met me. I like my arrows flying, my women crazy and my enemies naked.

-Just to be clear when I say naked I also mean dead.

-...just to be extra clear this has nothing at all to do with necrophilia. Which I do not support in any way shape or... you know what? Let's just move on.