Raven (age 7), Nyya (age 5) and Solana (just about 3) are in some ways very typical children, they are filled with wonder, awe and enough insanity to bring down a full grown elephant in mid-stride. Having children is an experiment in distilling your soul. Give the experiment enough time and eventually you see aspects of your personality presented back to you in its rawest form, for better or worse.
When it comes to Skyrim their agendas are as follows: Raven believes she is the chosen one, Nyya wishes to help at all times, at all costs, and Solana just wants to know Punchy (known as Uthgerd the Unbroken to those of you who don’t follow my blog normally), my in game companion is okay. Before those of you who know me wish to point out some very obvious aspects of my personality that are being reflected by these three, please know I am well aware and quite proud.The following is just a small sample of who they are and what it’s like trying to save the world of Skyrim with three co-pilots.
If you want to fully experience what it’s like to be me, read everything they say as fast as possible and everything I say in the slow lumbering pace of someone struggling against the waves of childlike insanity.
A final note, Matilda is a toy dragon that Raven carries with her everywhere she goes. Best I can tell Raven’s sole purpose some days is to narrate what Matilda is doing so everyone within earshot is fully up to date on her dragon’s activities. Matilda is a part of almost everything she does, even watching Skyrim.
Needless to say I have no idea where she developed this need to tell stories on a regular basis.
Frank: Ok, we don’t have a lot of time so we’re just going to...
Raven: Did you know I’m a dragonborne?
Nyya: I’m Punchy!
Raven: I’m Dragonface!
Solana: I’m two Punchys!
F: Right.. I.. wait, do you mean you are ALSO Punchy? or...
S: I’M TWO PUNCHYS! [holding up two fingers]
F:I don’t see how that’s possible...? You can’t be two...
S: TWO PUNCHYS! [Holding up two fingers while glowering]
N: I’ll be your ingredient spotter!
R: I’ll keep an eye out for zombies!
S: Where is Punchy??
F: Punchy is fine, see? She is right behind me.
N: I see yellow flowers over there!
F: Thanks, I didn’t...
N: And one there!
R: Is that a bear?!
F: Raven, That’s a ROCK!
N: I see thistle branch! OVER THERE!
S: Where is Punchy?
R: If Matilda the Dragon was in Skyrim she would be the only dragon that helped dragonface!
F: That’s very sweet, I would love to have...
N: OOOVVVERRR THHHEERRRREEE!!
S: WHERE IS PUNCHY!?!?
N: I’M PUNCHY!
R: I’M DRAGONFACE!
S: TWO PUNCHYS!
F: WAIT! Everyone! Just... one second. I need...
N: THERE!!!!
R: [Now in story telling mode] Matilda was quiet, hiding behind Dragonface, “If any bandits attack I’ll set them on fire!”, said Matilda.
N: THHHEEEERREEEEEEE!
F: AH! OKAY!
S: WHERE IS PUNCHY?!!!!!
F: THERE! RIGHT THERE! SHE IS RIGHT BEHIND ME! SHE IS FINE!
N: Oh no a zombie!
S: *hides her face*
R: PUT AN ARROW IN HIS STUPID FACE!
F: Trying! There! Rung him up!
R: Matilda said “That was a great shot!”
N: Did you get the Thistle Branch yet?
F: SWEET JESUS YES I DID!
R: You should give Punchy some wine!
F: Why?
R: Punchy loves wine! Punchy is so great! Are you going to marry Punchy?
F: I... I don’t think so? Punchy has more of “working” relationship with Dragonface...
R: I’M DRAGONFACE!
N: IM PUNCHY!
S: I’M TWO..
F: THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE SOLANA! YOU CAN’T BE TWO OF THE SAME PERSON AT ONE TIME!
S: *Glowering*
F: I’m just saying, you are a singular person...
S: *Glowering and now holding up two fingers*
N: What’s that flower over there?
R: What happens if you become a vampire?
N: Are there dragons in this cave?
R: Is that another rock or a bear?
N: Are there spiders in this cave? I don’t like spiders!
R: Where are all the bandits?
F: Guys, GUYS! Guys... how about we just go back to Whiterun and you all make some potions?
All Three: YAAAAAYYY!!!
F: Who wants to try to make a potion first?
All Three: MMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!
Raven, Solana and Nyya on one of their adventures
HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!! This is hilariously accurate.
ReplyDeleteThat is sooooo adorable. I honestly don't know how you get anything done, lol. I almost can't handle the cuteness. Well, when they all start wanting to make their own characters I know of a nice mod that will let you keep them all separate :P
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