Day Eight in Skyrim: Hiking and Other Mistakes, Part 3 of 3

-Finally! The cave that leads directly to the peak that a dragon calls home. Go up, kill a dragon, head home and roll in our newly found pile of gems. Easy as falling out of a tree.

-So this isn't an an ordinary cave is it? I suppose my first hint was the scattered piles of bodies and bones.

-And the crunching noise, that also suggests something unpleasant is going on here.

-Looks like a polar bear is living off the dragon’s leftovers. Come over here, I’m going to make so many leather straps out of you!

-So many skeletons, maybe someone should just cordon off this entire mountain I have quite a bit of proof that it might be unsafe.

-What Skyrim needs is an OSHA department.

-Also, this was the first non-talking animal I’ve run into in days. Things are finally starting to make sense again.

-Out the other side of the cave, it’s damn bright, almost snow-blindness. But I would have to be truly blind not to see this massive beast sleeping on a stone altar.

-If I was poet I would feel inspired to write something magical, something majestic. But that’s not who I am and that is not why I’m here.

-I almost feel bad about what needs to be done.

-Right, no sympathy for the devil. We have a job to do and so help me, I have an honest to god plan on how to do this other than the usual “flail about and hope Punchy kills it before I get devoured.”

-Ok, Punchy, You go stand on the east side of the mountain top, me and Snuggleface will go to the west side. This way no matter who he goes after someone will be able to flank him. See? It’s brilliant! I’m so much more than just a pretty face.

-Everyone in position? Check. Arrow poisoned? Check. Second thoughts about everything up until this point? Check.

-Arrow back, deep breath, holding steady... Ok. Let’s make this first one count. *thwomp*

-Right between the eyes! He takes off, almost vertically and quickly swoops back down overhead as he descends for his attack.

-That’s right! Go after that scary Nord lady, my plan is working! Wait! You’re hurting my Punchy?! How did I ever consider this a viable plan!?

-Back off the lady! Healing Hands Go!

-How’s my girl? All good? There, back on your feet. Now, where did that dra... NOW YOU’RE ATTACKING MY DOG?! SERIOUSLY?!

-I’M the hero! I demand to be attacked!

-I refuse! *thwomp*, to stand! *thwomp* for such! *thwomp* DISRESPECT! *thwomp*

-Damn right you’re taking off again! Nothing down here for you but an irate and surprisingly well dressed lizard!

-Guys, if we live through this I promise no more camping trips.

-There! Almost down! And you go after my dog again?!? I’m actively arrowing you! Where are your priorities!?

-Down! Fastest dragon battle yet and... wait! Don’t roll down the mountain you corpse! I need whatever it is you have!

-Looks like the alter has another shout for me, I hope it’s the one that lets me scream fire at people! or ice!

-Animals? This shout let’s me call animals to me? No! NO!

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Dragons Vs. Dogs, I'm going to pitch this to the Discovery Channel as a reality show