-I have decided this evening will be sponsored by Red Bull energy drink, helping people do reckless things faster since 1987.
-Welcome to lovely Dawnstar, our major exports are insomnia and the prayers for the warm embrace of death.
-If I was an evil wizard crushing the hopes and dreams of a village, where in the village would I hide?
-The Jord’s court? Nah, too obvious. The farm? Nope, too stupid. The Tavern? There we go.
-Let’s see who we have here... drunk, drunk, innkeeper, drunk and creepy dark elf with a tattered robe and blood red eyes. Punchy, I think we have a winner.
-Erandur, I’m not here because I need a quest, I’m here because in high school you were voted “Most likely to torment the dreams of an innocent village.”
-Do I trust you? How could I? Have you looked in a mirror recently? Voldemort has a more trustworthy face and he doesn’t even have a nose.
-Fine, if saying “I trust you” gets you away from all these witnesses, then sure, I “trust” you.
-Oh, you’re ready to go? You don’t need to get a dagger to drive into my back? Fine, we’re ready too.
-Why don’t you walk faster! Also, why is my can of energy already empty! ALSO WALK FASTER!
-Wait, we have to go to an abandoned evil temple for your quest? Hahaha, are you serious?! You’re not even pretending my life is safe anymore, are you.
-Punchy, I need you to do something in about ten minutes, *glancing over at Erandur* avenge my inevitable betrayal.
-Three trolls guard the door to the temple, Meeko and Snuggleface lead the charge as Punchy summons Reginald the Damned, but his aid is not needed; Erandur is more than a match for the trolls. To put it simply, they have brought knives to a gun fight.
-My god how I wish I could trust you, Erandur, because that was quite the lightshow you put on. Well, in we go... after you sir.
-Wait, wait, wait... my companions can’t come in here with me?! *sigh*, one second, I need to go outside and remind them to wait for me.
-So guys, I... DRAGON?! WHERE DID THIS COME FROM!?
-Did you try to sneak up on my squad?! Did you think you were being SUBTLE?!
-LOOK *HACK* AT ALL *SLASH* MY *HACK* SUBTLETY!
-MEEKO! STOP BEING ON FIRE AND BITE THIS THING!
-You picked the wrong time lizard, I have a dark elf who is actively measuring me for a coffin, I’m out of caffeine! AND THESE DAMN DOGS NEVER STOP BARKING!
-You’re not so tough when I’m riding your skull and hacking at your brain now are you?! *HACK* ARE YOU!?
-*HACK* Still think it was a good idea to ambush my squad?! *HACK* DO YOU?!
-I AM YOUR APOCALYPSE! *HACK* HAHAHAHAHA!
-It’s already dead?! NOOOO! What am I suppose to do with all this excess rage?!
-I’M SO FIRED UP RIGHT NOW! I need to do something manly like drink whiskey or fix a car engine!
-I leave you guys alone for thirty seconds and THIS HAPPENS?! See! This is why we can’t have nice things!
-Listen, I need to go back inside and get ambushed. While I’m gone try not to do anything crazy like, I don’t know, pick a fight with a dragon.
-This game needs a *Glare at your squad* menu option.
-Welcome to lovely Dawnstar, our major exports are insomnia and the prayers for the warm embrace of death.
-If I was an evil wizard crushing the hopes and dreams of a village, where in the village would I hide?
-The Jord’s court? Nah, too obvious. The farm? Nope, too stupid. The Tavern? There we go.
-Let’s see who we have here... drunk, drunk, innkeeper, drunk and creepy dark elf with a tattered robe and blood red eyes. Punchy, I think we have a winner.
-Erandur, I’m not here because I need a quest, I’m here because in high school you were voted “Most likely to torment the dreams of an innocent village.”
-Do I trust you? How could I? Have you looked in a mirror recently? Voldemort has a more trustworthy face and he doesn’t even have a nose.
-Fine, if saying “I trust you” gets you away from all these witnesses, then sure, I “trust” you.
-Oh, you’re ready to go? You don’t need to get a dagger to drive into my back? Fine, we’re ready too.
-Why don’t you walk faster! Also, why is my can of energy already empty! ALSO WALK FASTER!
-Wait, we have to go to an abandoned evil temple for your quest? Hahaha, are you serious?! You’re not even pretending my life is safe anymore, are you.
-Punchy, I need you to do something in about ten minutes, *glancing over at Erandur* avenge my inevitable betrayal.
-Three trolls guard the door to the temple, Meeko and Snuggleface lead the charge as Punchy summons Reginald the Damned, but his aid is not needed; Erandur is more than a match for the trolls. To put it simply, they have brought knives to a gun fight.
-My god how I wish I could trust you, Erandur, because that was quite the lightshow you put on. Well, in we go... after you sir.
-Wait, wait, wait... my companions can’t come in here with me?! *sigh*, one second, I need to go outside and remind them to wait for me.
-So guys, I... DRAGON?! WHERE DID THIS COME FROM!?
-Did you try to sneak up on my squad?! Did you think you were being SUBTLE?!
-LOOK *HACK* AT ALL *SLASH* MY *HACK* SUBTLETY!
-MEEKO! STOP BEING ON FIRE AND BITE THIS THING!
-You picked the wrong time lizard, I have a dark elf who is actively measuring me for a coffin, I’m out of caffeine! AND THESE DAMN DOGS NEVER STOP BARKING!
-You’re not so tough when I’m riding your skull and hacking at your brain now are you?! *HACK* ARE YOU!?
-*HACK* Still think it was a good idea to ambush my squad?! *HACK* DO YOU?!
-I AM YOUR APOCALYPSE! *HACK* HAHAHAHAHA!
-It’s already dead?! NOOOO! What am I suppose to do with all this excess rage?!
-I’M SO FIRED UP RIGHT NOW! I need to do something manly like drink whiskey or fix a car engine!
-I leave you guys alone for thirty seconds and THIS HAPPENS?! See! This is why we can’t have nice things!
-Listen, I need to go back inside and get ambushed. While I’m gone try not to do anything crazy like, I don’t know, pick a fight with a dragon.
-This game needs a *Glare at your squad* menu option.
Nothing I ever do in my life will be as awesome as this.
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