-They said I was mad when I made two hundred iron daggers and, well, they had a point. But now I can make glass armor and weapons. Hoorah!
-What better way to celebrate the creation of skull-splitting weapons than with beer.
-Whiterun has the best taverns, oh look Punchy, that is where we met! Seems like just yesterday you were drunkenly hitting my face for money. *sigh* Good times.
-A drinking contest with a creepy stranger? I’d be a fool not to accept.
-Three drinks? That’s all? Pfft! I can do that balanced on one leg and a tail. Why am I blacking out? I’m too ruggedly handsome for this to happen! Noooooo!
-Why am I back in Markarth? Oh god, I died and went to hell didn’t I?
-Whoa there, slow down lady, so I trashed your temple, *clears throat*, fondled your statues, blasphemed your god and threatened to marry a goat? Well, that does sound like me.
-Ok, ok, need to piece this together, now where would drunk me go? A humble farming community!
-Sir, I assure you I didn’t marry your goat, I mean, steal your goat. Whatever the case may be I didn’t steal your goat and try to marry her... it, him?
-Anyway, last night, while wildly drunk and not stealing your goat, did I happen to mention what I was going to do with the goat I didn’t steal?
-I sold the goat to a giant? I stole a goat for holy wedlock and then sold it to a giant? What kind of crazy drunk bastard am I?!
-Just calm down! We’ll find my wife and your goat, with any luck those are two separate things.
-Punchy! Where were you when all this was happening?! What kind of wingman are you?
-Normally I would have a plan, a brilliant, simple, efficient plan... oh who am I kidding? ARROWS AWAY!
-Hey there town guard, oh don’t mind me, I’m just taking my Nord, two dogs and my goat-wife for an evening stroll. Lovely evening for it I say.
-Here is your goat, now please tell me something, anything, that passes for good news!
-My possible-maybe-wife is in Whiterun? So I didn’t marry this goat? WOO-HOO!
-Ysolda! You’re a person! Please tell me we’re married! Hmm, I’m starting to see some flaws in my pickup line.
-What do you mean you sold me a wedding ring? I was drunk and rambling about goats! You know who was irresponsible? You!
-Ok, fine, I’ll get the ring back. Unless my wife is hot... and some sorta biped. In that case, I’m keeping the ring and the wife.
-Ysolda said that I should be able to find the ring in the Witchmist Grove, maybe my wife lives in a rustic cabin, I have a good feeling about this!
-What the... The only thing here is a Hagraven, I wouldn’t... I mean, I couldn’t... Oh god. OH FRIGGIN GOD! THIS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!
-Listen, Moira is it? Listen, I think we’ve had a massive misunderstand. I may have said some things the other night, crazy things. Things like, “I want to marry you even though you are a Hagraven and seeing you makes me want to run so fast I leave my skin behind.”, I guess what I’m saying is, the wedding is off.
-Look, I’m sorry. This never would have worked. I’m a lizard and you’re the embodiment of children’s nightmares.
-So violence is your answer? Very well, Consider this a divorce. *thwomp*
-Prying an engagement ring off a dead Hagraven. Wow, I am really living wrong.
-All things considered I would have been better off with a goat-wife.
-Ysolda, claims I was going to get married in Morvunskar, the place sounds like it’s a Russian dessert.
-Sam! You crazy bastard, do you even begin to understand how bad you messed up my life?! I almost married a farm animal! AND THAT IS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART OF THE STORY!
-And another thing! You... are actually a Daedra?! Actually this explains quite a bit.
-A massive wand with a rose that summons other Daedra? Was this on my wedding gift registry? I mean, I would have been happy with a blender.
-What better way to celebrate the creation of skull-splitting weapons than with beer.
-Whiterun has the best taverns, oh look Punchy, that is where we met! Seems like just yesterday you were drunkenly hitting my face for money. *sigh* Good times.
-A drinking contest with a creepy stranger? I’d be a fool not to accept.
-Three drinks? That’s all? Pfft! I can do that balanced on one leg and a tail. Why am I blacking out? I’m too ruggedly handsome for this to happen! Noooooo!
-Why am I back in Markarth? Oh god, I died and went to hell didn’t I?
-Whoa there, slow down lady, so I trashed your temple, *clears throat*, fondled your statues, blasphemed your god and threatened to marry a goat? Well, that does sound like me.
-Ok, ok, need to piece this together, now where would drunk me go? A humble farming community!
-Sir, I assure you I didn’t marry your goat, I mean, steal your goat. Whatever the case may be I didn’t steal your goat and try to marry her... it, him?
-Anyway, last night, while wildly drunk and not stealing your goat, did I happen to mention what I was going to do with the goat I didn’t steal?
-I sold the goat to a giant? I stole a goat for holy wedlock and then sold it to a giant? What kind of crazy drunk bastard am I?!
-Just calm down! We’ll find my wife and your goat, with any luck those are two separate things.
-Punchy! Where were you when all this was happening?! What kind of wingman are you?
-Normally I would have a plan, a brilliant, simple, efficient plan... oh who am I kidding? ARROWS AWAY!
-Hey there town guard, oh don’t mind me, I’m just taking my Nord, two dogs and my goat-wife for an evening stroll. Lovely evening for it I say.
-Here is your goat, now please tell me something, anything, that passes for good news!
-My possible-maybe-wife is in Whiterun? So I didn’t marry this goat? WOO-HOO!
-Ysolda! You’re a person! Please tell me we’re married! Hmm, I’m starting to see some flaws in my pickup line.
-What do you mean you sold me a wedding ring? I was drunk and rambling about goats! You know who was irresponsible? You!
-Ok, fine, I’ll get the ring back. Unless my wife is hot... and some sorta biped. In that case, I’m keeping the ring and the wife.
-Ysolda said that I should be able to find the ring in the Witchmist Grove, maybe my wife lives in a rustic cabin, I have a good feeling about this!
-What the... The only thing here is a Hagraven, I wouldn’t... I mean, I couldn’t... Oh god. OH FRIGGIN GOD! THIS IS THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!
-Listen, Moira is it? Listen, I think we’ve had a massive misunderstand. I may have said some things the other night, crazy things. Things like, “I want to marry you even though you are a Hagraven and seeing you makes me want to run so fast I leave my skin behind.”, I guess what I’m saying is, the wedding is off.
-Look, I’m sorry. This never would have worked. I’m a lizard and you’re the embodiment of children’s nightmares.
-So violence is your answer? Very well, Consider this a divorce. *thwomp*
-Prying an engagement ring off a dead Hagraven. Wow, I am really living wrong.
-All things considered I would have been better off with a goat-wife.
-Ysolda, claims I was going to get married in Morvunskar, the place sounds like it’s a Russian dessert.
-Sam! You crazy bastard, do you even begin to understand how bad you messed up my life?! I almost married a farm animal! AND THAT IS NOT EVEN THE WORST PART OF THE STORY!
-And another thing! You... are actually a Daedra?! Actually this explains quite a bit.
-A massive wand with a rose that summons other Daedra? Was this on my wedding gift registry? I mean, I would have been happy with a blender.
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