-ENOUGH! JOOR ZAH FRUL! FIGHT ME, FACE TO FACE!
-My GOD you’re hideous!
-Normal arrows don’t seem to bother you. But I have these poison vials here that are so potent I’m surprised they don't produce a laughing green gas skull when opened.
-And guess what? I’ve been saving a couple these for a special occasion.
-And by special occassion I mean I’m going to jab them directly into your eye sockets and hope I hit brain!
-AH HA! Hurts doesn’t it?! I’ve got plenty more where that came from…. wait, actually I don’t. DAMN IT!
-Fine, maybe I’m all out of ultra mega-poison, but I’ve got plenty of other vials with little skulls on them!
-Stop trying to fly away! JOOR ZAH FRUL! This ends now!
-Wait, you’re out of Hit points, how are you still alive?! What kind of sorcery is this?! Don’t fly away, I need answers!
-No, no, no! You don’t get to talk trash after I just whipped your exceptionally ugly body! Get back here! DAMN IT!
-Paar, buddy? Can you explain ANY part of what just happened?
-One minute I’m minding my own business looking through the vast expanse of time using an ancient scroll and the next minute I’m fighting the world eater on top of a mountain. If you ask me I’m completely innocent in this situation.
-Well, on the plus side, I know I can defeat him, on the downside, I can’t kill him. At least not yet. I’m missing a pretty big part of the equation.
-I could ask Esbern for help, but he spent most of the last decade hiding underground, pooping in a bucket. I like him, but I’m not sure he exactly has his finger on the pulse of the situation.
-I could ask the Greybeards, but with each passing day I trust them less and less. Watching them try to take control the last time Alduin showed up hasn’t exactly inspired confidence.
-That just leaves me with you, Paarthurnax. You’re scary, you have a questionable past and I’m willing to bet a fair portion of your diet rhymes with the word “heople”. But you know what? You seem to have a knack for honesty.
-Paar seems to think that once word spreads that I’ve bested Alduin some of his generals/allies might be willing to switch sides. Although I believe him, I’m not sure it’s the best idea.
-I mean, we’re talking about a bunch of guys that attended the seminar entitled “The Complete Destruction of Everything Ever” and then signed up for the monthly newsletter. I’m not sure I want those guys on my side.
-I’m pretty sure I want them dead. Maybe even super dead.
-But Paar is right. I’m going to need help bringing Alduin down and who better to know his weaknesses than the jerks he’s been hanging out with?
-Fine, I’ll go talk to these small time jerks and see if I can convince them to go after the grand master jerk. How could that go wrong?
-Heck, maybe I’ll even get lucky and Alduin will manage to kill a few of them in the process. ‘Two birds one stone’ kinda thing.
-Come on, Punchy. I promise wherever we are going next won’t be on a mountain side infested with dragons.
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| The End of the World Makes for Strange Allies. |
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