-Behold, a creepy door in the dark basement of the school of forbidden arcane arts. I feel like my spidey sense should be going off right about now.
-Lucky for me I don’t have that sense, if I did it would be like one of those faulty car alarms that go off every fifteen minutes.
-Hello? Giant speaking glowing orb? Any chance you’re the Augur of Dunlain? If you’re not could you please direct me to the glowing orb that is?
-We need your help, turns out Savos brought a DIFFERENT giant magic orb into the school because clearly what this place needed was more dangerous magical artifacts.
-Also, let’s just skip over the question of how smart it is to ask one magic orb for advice on how to deal with another one. I’ve had a long day.
-Listen to this joker, Punchy. He thinks all hope is lost! HA! You aren’t exactly the first to tell me things are hopeless. Heck, you’re not even the first floating shape to tell me this.
-It’s at moments like these, when I’m discussing the end of all things with a floating ball of light, that I begin to question my life choices.
-Before I deal with any of this… why am I carrying seven helmets and five pairs of boots?
-It’s been a few months since I’ve played so I have no idea what I was doing. What was I going to do with all these books? Was I planning on opening a mobile library?
-Actually that’s a great idea! Screw all this fighting dragons and arguing with various floating things! I need to settle down with a sensible job and… wait, didn’t I have a house?
-I really should head home and get things sorted out, assuming I remember where I live.
**One trip to Whiterun later**
-Hello, local merchant! Do I have anything I’d like to sell? Depends, are you in the market for an abundance of cabbages?
-Look, I don’t know. At some point I figured I might need one or two cabbages so I did the rational thing and gathered up all the cabbages.
-Just so you know, if you don’t buy these I intend to just throw them all over your store. So unless you want to live in an overflowing bowl of sauerkraut for the rest of your life, you should make me an offer.
-It sure is good to be home again, the friendly merchants, that one chap who talks about the Redguard all the time, that other guy that won’t stop screaming around the fountain. Home, sweet, home.
-Well that’s a face I don’t recognize, Did someone misplace a little girl?
-Listen, little lady, I would give you some food but I just sold all my cabbages. However I do have a few coins you could have. I have to ask though, why are you out here begging?
-Your folks died and your aunt and uncle kicked you out?! As someone who recently killed a gaggle of ice trolls, I ask without irony… what kind of monster does that?
-So here is the deal. I’m not good at a lot of things, in fact I have a very limited skill set. But what I am good at is killing things, bad things. I know you just need a few coins, but what if I throw in the revenge killings for free?
-It won’t be any trouble at all, I’ll track them down, my companion Punchy here will summon a demon who seems to have some kind of rage disorder THEN he will… well, actually the rest of the details aren’t important. Anywho, then I’ll come back and drop you off at the orphanage. Sounds fun, right?
-Wait! Can’t do that, just remembered the last time I was there the orphanage director and I had a bit of a disagreement. She thought it was okay to abuse the kids and I thought her skull would make for suitable arrow storage.
-I won that argument. I win a lot of arguments actually.
-Ok, Plan B... a long time ago the Jarl of this town gave me a house because I killed a flying lizard with pointy sticks, it’s a long story come to think of it. Anyway, it has a few extra beds and I don’t use it for much, mostly I use it to store my books and cabbages and Lydia.
-What I’m trying to say is I could give you a new home, that is if you don’t mind having a fairly unique family.
-It may not be much but it’s safe. Lucia, welcome home.
-This will be your room, I was using it to store… what the hell was I keeping in here anyway? WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO WITH 124 IRON INGOTS?!
-Also, I really don’t have much to give a child, most of what I own is either razor sharp or has a soul trapped in it, in some cases both, but I did find this doll…
-*The moment Lucia takes the doll she hugs it and smiles*
-My. Frigging. God. That was entirely too adorable! PUNCHY FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE WE NEED TO FIND MORE DOLLS!
-Oh, the dog? Lucia this is Meeko. He’s your lizard dad’s killing doggy.
-Can you keep him? I… I don’t know. Meeko and I have been to some pretty dark places. Vampire caves, zombie caverns, underground cities… and he barked incessantly through all of them.
-You know... I used to have two dogs with me and the first, well, his story ended a while ago…
-Meeko? To be honest I’ve always feared I’d lose you to a bandit or a dragon or any of the other horrible things that you’ve bitten in the face to protect my scaly hide. I.. I think I want your adventure to end here.
-No more bandit fights for you Meeko. From now on you’re going to hang around here and be loved senseless by this little girl.
-Meeko, welcome to your happy ending.
-From here on in it’s just you and me, Punchy. Us versus… well, everything.
-Let’s go find our ending.
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| ADORABLENESS IS AT UNSAFE LEVELS |
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