-I guess this summoner never heard the old adage, never bring a flame atronach to an arrow fight.
-Go ahead and try to summon something to bring me down *He summons a very violent flame atronach*
-Right, okay, now try doing that with an arrow stuck in your brain! HA! See, not so easy now, is it?!
-Three summoners at once? This hardly seems fair.... to the summoners.
-I COMPLETELY MISJUDGED THE AMOUNT OF FIRE THREE SUMMONERS COULD PRODUCE!
-New self rule...remember that pride comes before your skin bursts into flames.
-Okay, this looks like the last room. If I know anything about summoners, it’s that they have a flair for the dramatic. I’m guessing this room will be large, filled with idiots and the main idiot will be right in the middle of the room.
-Not even going to look, when the doors open, I’m firing an arrow into the middle of the room...
-On my mark Punchy, Three, Two, One....
-*The doors open, the arrow slides from my fingers and sinks into the torso of the summoner standing in the middle of the room as predicted*
-I’m going to be honest, I can’t believe I was right.
-Looks like we have what we came for, I guess this is where we part ways Orthorn, you may not be my favorite summoner in Skyrim, but you didn’t try to kill me and steal the books back like I expected. Thank you.
-Next stop, Winterhold.
-Okay, now that I have these books I just need to find Talfor and... HOLY CRAP YOU BROUGHT THE ORB TO WINTERHOLD?!
-This has to be the worst decision that I was not personally responsible for.
-So now that you have this giant cursed orb in a place filled with power crazed wizards what’s the plan? You seem like a smart guy so I’m assuming you’re one step ahead of everyone else here.
-Nope, your plan is to just stare at the orb... faaannntastic.
-Oh lovely, now Arcano wants to speak to me, I wonder what about, Talfor? I’m sure it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS STUPID ORB!
-Lovely, Arcano isn’t just condescending he is a Talmor.
-You’ve said less than ten words to me Arcano and I’ve already figured out how I’m going to kill you.
-Oh you want information about the orb Arcano? Which orb would that be? OOOOoooh, THAT orb... yep, it sure is... orb’ish. Where did we find it? I can’t rightly say, I’ve been to so many places, seen so many things, I can’t be expected to remember everything.
-Oh calm down, Arcano, I’m totally willing to cooperate with a Thalmor trying to bully me into giving him information, go ahead, ask me another question.
-Who was with us when we found it? Found what? OOOOOooooh THE ORB, right. I think some guy was with us... Tony? I think his name was Tony. I’ve met so many interesting people in Skyrim. Wait! Where are you going?! I WAS HAVING FUN DAMN IT!
-I don’t think I’ve had an NPC storm off in exasperation before. I’m kinda proud of myself.
-Someone just told me I need to find the Augar of Dunlain. Finally, information I didn’t have to kill for.
-Now all I need to do is find the Augar of... wait, what the hell is an Augar? Is that a person or a thing?
-Whatever, hidden things are always in the basement, I’m just going to go there and rummage around, maybe the Augar is in a box labelled “Augars” or something.
 |
| I'm starting to worry this thing is actually an egg. |
Wait what happens next?! Do you and Punchy live happily ever after? Do you save the world from being eaten? Were you the hero Skyrim deserves, or the one that it needs right now??
ReplyDeleteI just saw this post! I wound up very distracted with a bunch of things and I've been meaning to get back and (to steal a line from Halo) finish the fight.
ReplyDeleteSeeing that folks have found the blog after I left it is actually great motivation to get back to it. Thank you.