-Ah the great outdoors! I never thought I would miss this eternal blizzard but, after being down at the core of the earth with those freaky little Falmers, this weather is just fantastic by comparison.
-Hey, is that Talfor over by those mines? What the hell is my magic teacher doing out here with the other students?
-CLASS FIELD TRIP! I hope everyone got their parents to sign the permission slips.
-So we’re just going to roam around this dig site looking for enchanted things? Oh well, still more fun than sitting through another potions class.
-Well, let’s see what we have here, one enchanted ring on the ground and one enchanted necklace on this wall... Punchy, when I picked up that necklace did you hear something? Almost sounded like a gate crashing down behind us trapping us in here, crazy right?
-OH DEAR GOD A GATE HAS CRASHED DOWN AND TRAPPED US IN HERE!
-Talfor? TALFOR?! I don’t mean to cause any alarm, but it appears that we’re trapped in this tiny room and I feel like the walls are closing in around me AND MY CLAUSTROPHOBIA IS STARTING TO FLAIR UP! SO IF YOU COULD GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SWALLOW MY TONGUE THAT WOULD BE GREAT!
-I’m not panicking! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PANICKING! Punchy! Quick, rip my arms off so I can shove my torso through this gate!
-Talfor, you’re going to have to speak up! Someone in here is screaming hysterically and... oh, wait, that might be me.
-Ok, Talfor says I just need to put this necklace on and magic the wall, which is what I’ll do as soon as I can breathe normally.
-Oh thank god! The wall crumbled like stale graham cracker! Freedom! Freedom into a slightly larger enclosed space..... hoorah?
-Looks like we have three coffins and an altar in here. I’m no expert but I think only necromancers and Rush Limbaugh have this kind of interior design.
-Talfor! Any idea what we should do? You seem to be relentlessly calm and rational, I’m not sure how much more of that I can put up with.
-Whoa, why did everyone stop moving? And why is everything now in black and white?! Oh look, a weird ghost guy appearing out of nothing.
-You know, this sort of thing doesn’t even surprise me anymore. If that table over there suddenly turned into a ghost of a pig and said, “In the winter the sun will come,” and then exploded into three headed bunnies I don’t think I would even bat an eye.
-Only I can stop the disaster that is about to unfold? Listen Nerien, I don’t mean to be glib, but which disaster? I mean, just look at my day planner, each page says, “SAVE WORLD, BUY MILK”
-Yep, just disappear without giving me any real details on what the hell is going on! I’ll just figure this out on my own, DAMN YOU! Well, at least everyone is moving again.
-Why do you want to check the coffins Talfor? It's not like they are going to be filled with candy, they are going to be filled with.. *The coffin lids burst off on their own and the room fills with...* ZOMBIES!
-Arrow for you! and an arrow for you! Hey, don’t bite my dog! You just earned yourself an extra arrow!
-I guess in Soviet Saarthal coffin checks you, eh? EH?!
-Whatever, I thought it was funny.
-If I’ve learned nothing else it’s that zombie Nords are always guarding something valuable. With any luck it’s gold and not something tremendously powerful that no man or woman should ever possess.
-Look down there, it’s one of those super powered Nord zombie men. Watch me drop him from here Talfor and you’ll see why I have little use for your magical parlor tricks.
-Arrow back, arrow flies and finds it’s mark... and bounces harmlessly off his skull and clatters to the ground.
-Oh.... fudge.
-Right, on to plan B, turning his skull into an ax cozy! Prepare for a poorly planned lobotomy! *CLANK* *The ax also bounces off his skull harmlessly*
-Well, I’ve tried pointy sticks and moderately sharp metal. That about covers it for me, just wait for the warm embrace of death then?
-Keep him busy?! What do you want me to do Talfor? Show him adorable pictures of cats?! HE DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THE DISTRACTIBLE SORT!
-Go ahead hit my shield! Eventually your arms will be all stubby and worn down! Just you wait!
-Wait, why did he fall down? Is... is he dead? *Tentatively kicks at the corpse* Talfor, I don’t know what you did, but thank you.
-I don’t see any gold lying around here so I’m guessing those Nords were guarding this orb, this large, ominous, certain to kill a bunch of people, orb. I get the feeling this is what Nerien warned me about.
-I’m going to let the folks in Winterhold know we found the “doom orb”, yeah I know, it seems pretty harmless right now, but a little ghost birdy told me that’s going to change.
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| The moment before Jyrik Gauldurson was annoyed by an arrow bouncing off his face. |
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