-Screw it, I’m just going to talk to Arngeir.
-Hey, how’s my favorite creepy old recluse?
-The Blades are under some nutty impression that you might know a shout that would bring Alduin to his knees, crazy right? I mean, you would have TOLD me about that right? RIGHT?!
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON’T TELL ME?! I know things might seem all honky doorie on top of “Mount Elderly,” but down there the world is coming to an end! God knows why but those idiots seem to think I can slam the breaks on the apocalypse, so either you tell me what I need to know or this giant creepy castle is going on the market under the heading of, “Lovely properly, great view, only one massacre on premises”!
-Look, I get it, maybe I can’t stop Aldiun even with Dragonrend but, damn it, give me the chance to die a confused death at the claws of a dragon evil enough to eat a world. I’m asking for little more than a basic human right.
-Why didn’t you say you don’t know Dragonrend in the first place?! Do you at least know someone who does? God, I can’t believe this, I’m asking for a referral for a quest. I feel like this is some kind of HMO program.
-Paarthawhat-a-who? That... that is one hell of a name. Sounds Argonian actually! How exciting! Maybe we can bond over how much we hate you!
- Where is he? Also, should I bring a gift? Like a cake or something? I think the only food I have on me is this bag of uncooked clam meat.
-Of course he’s at the top of the mountain, nothing I enjoy more than navigating narrow mountain trails in the middle of a blizzard.
-Well, this must be the place, but all I see here is a couple of goats. Actually wait... is one of the goats Paartha-whata? I mean, considering everything else that’s happened it really would not be all that shocking.
-Wait, that’s crazy, why would the leader of these old men be a goat that lives on a mountain?, Then again, why did I have a talking dog as a squad member for months....
-Oh, I miss Snuggleface.
-...what’s that noise? A dragon?! Up here?! I don’t know how you got to the altitude buddy but you’re about to take the express back to the ground floor! *Draws back an arrow*
-I’ll. BE. DAMNED. A talking dragon!? Paarthurnax!
-I’m a talking lizard too! We should be best friends! Do you have a pet dog also? Or is it just you and the goats up here?
-Right, this is a business trip. So, those petty-mortals in that run down castle said you might be able to help... and now that I see you with my own eyes, this question might seem a bit threatening... but any chance you can teach me to kill an ancient dragon by yelling at him?
-”Arngier the Grump” asked me the same question.. why do I want to save the world. I’m not sure I have a good answer, 80% of the people down there are bandits and 19% of them wouldn’t be able to fend off a low hanging branch, but... but there are a few, a few worth all this trouble.
-Besides, I’m the Dragonborn, it’s part of the job description. See, it says it right here, “Save the world, be handsome while doing so.”
-The elder scrolls hold the answers? Fair enough, I’ll find them. Thank you for the information AND for not eating me.
-Alright Arngier, we’ll be on our way. But before we go, I just wanted to say, even for a hermit you’re difficult.
-Also, why didn’t you tell me your leader was a dragon?! You and your weird quiet friends stood around and told me the entire boring history of your little club for like, ten hours, but never once did you mention the dragon you have in your backyard? Really?!
-You could learn a bit from me about storytelling and archery... and how to be smooth with Nordic ladies.
-Alright Punchy, according to my trusty map our next stop is the college of Winterhold. Maybe while we’re there I can take a few classes and finish up my liberal arts degree. After all, I may not always be able to get by with looks alone.
-Oh who am I kidding, I’ll always be adorable.
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| Paarthurnax wants to know why you don't visit more often and would it kill you to call once in awhile? |
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