Return to Skyrim, Day 3: Stealing a Horse and other Shameful Acts

-Louis Letrush, behold I bring you your horse! Let me assure you any “cooked horse” smell you may be noticing was caused by an unexpect Flame atronach attack... what I’m saying is, we weren’t trying to eat your horse.

-Is it weird that I pointed out we didn’t try to eat your horse? Does that make us seem more guilty or less? Wait, I’m guessing these follow-up questions are not helping either.

-So long Louis, happy trails to you! Enjoy your completely uncooked horse and... *sigh*, that man is just never going to trust me again is he?

-Should I return to Riften or should I really shake the rust off and go poke at a dragon?

-Sometimes I ask myself some really stupid questions.

-*One mountain climb later*

-I’VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE!

-Listen! If everyone could stop getting thrown into the air by this Ancient Dragon I’m sure we could come up with a feasible plan!

-Meeko! What did I just say?! Get out of the sky and extinguish yourself right now!

-I don’t remember these fights being so difficult. Wait, I must be doing something different, something painfully and obviously wrong... *looks around*

-A HA! I’m standing on a mountainside and not an open field! That’s not very bright of me... I’m also on a narrow mountain path... with no way to avoid the living nightmare that just landed in front of me...

-No choice! have to jump and hope for the best!

-SEE YOU IN HELL GRAVITY! *Crunch* Oh god! MY LIMBS!

-Oh, healing potions, where would I be without your bone mending abilities?

-I suppose the obvious answer is, “in a special care facility,” but that was more of a rhetorical question.

-Listen buddy, the not so good folks of Riften need you dead and I need to make Riften a better place and all I know is violence, and that is how I’m going to fix things. So how about we just get on the same page here and let me kill you?

-This dragon is just soaking up arrows as if they were snowballs. Time to dip into the “special reserve poisons” portion of my backpack.

-46 points of poison damage? Well, don’t mind if I do.

-*thwomp* There, I KNOW you felt that one! Perfect, retreat to your flat mountain top home!

-Behold! The terrain is now to my advantage! Watch as my dogs run wild and free.... and gnaw your legs like rabid beavers attacking a tree.

-It’s been fun, but I have a city to save, time to bring this dance to an end *thwomp*.

-OoooooOOOOOooooohhh, I’d forgotten how pretty the “dragon soul” light show is!

-Quick headcount, let’s see, one badass Nord and two homicidal dogs, yep, looks like we all made it.

-Well, with that out of the way, let’s check the quest journal for other Riften based quests... Ah, find the old man living in the sewers... how disgusting, can I just leave him there instead?

Further proof that Punchy is the real hero here, I'm really just ranged support.