-Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you don’t mind that we’re fashionably late but I have a really good excuse! Punchy and I decided to... DRAGONS?! Already? What the hell guys! You started without me?!
-Also, why didn’t anyone tell me Karthspire had a Forsworn infestation? This seems like something someone should have mentioned during the basement debriefing.
-**The dragon has clearly taken a beating at the hands of Forsworn, but upon my arrival it changes its path, circles back and decides I’m now the prime target, I draw back my arrow and, in what may prove to be my most “badass” moment yet, I send a single arrow into his skull, killing him in mid-flight, his lifeless body falls out of the sky and crashes to the ground in a mangled heap.**
-HOOOOOOOOooooo! WooooOOOOOOOOooooo! MY GOD DID ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT?! In certain countries I would now be considered a deity!
-Wait, where did that dead guy come from? Did you do that Punchy? You mean to tell me killing people is more interesting than watching me in action? Why aren’t you busy admiring my handy work?
-Didn’t you see?! That dragon was all like, “ROAR! I’m a dragon!” and I was all like, “I’m the king lizard not you!” and he was like, “I’M GOING TO EAT YOU!” and I was like, “YOU’RE GOING TO EAT ARROWS!” and THEN HE DID!
-*I Motion with my hands mimicking a dragon crashing into the ground while making slow-motion crashing noises*
-You know your problem Punchy? You don’t appreciate good story telling.
-Punchy, where are you running off too? RIGHT! We were in the middle of a battle! Oh Punchy, where would I be without you watching my back while I boast?
-Hey Forsworn, what makes you think you have any chance against us? If the arrows don’t bring you down, the Nord will and if she doesn’t the dog will... and if they don’t I can only assume a passing bandit will. Skyrim really is not a safe neighborhood.
-Who the hell is that old guy summoning rock monsters over there? Time to take a seat old man *Thwomp*!
-Huh, that old guy looked a bit like Esbern.... now that I think about it, where IS Esbern? I... I mean, he kinda looked like Esbern.... sorta... a bit.... a lot. CRAP, IT WAS ESBERN!
-I’m so sorry! so SO sorry! Esbern, talk to me! Are you okay?! I totally didn’t think it was you! I thought I was arrowing a crazy old man, YOU CAN SEE HOW I BECAME CONFUSED!
-Wow, you are just going to walk that off, huh? You are one tough old man. I hope I can take an arrow to the face like that when I’m your age.
-Let’s clean up this Forsworn rabble; storm the gates!
-Honestly I don’t see gates anywhere, but I’m feeling very melodramatic at the moment. Please, bare with me.
-*Thwomp* That’s the last of them. Everyone present and accounted for? Delphine! How good to see you, and even better to see that I didn’t accidentally arrow you in the skull.
-Well, after all that excitement, do we finally get to set foot in the hallowed halls of the Blades old home? I wonder what magical items remain?
-Welcome to Sky Haven, the former home of the bravest warriors this world has ever known.
-MY GOD WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS PLACE? I mean, are you guys sure all the other Blades are dead and not just buried under all this crap?
-Clearly in your massive armory you didn’t have anything resembling a mop.
-Huh, a full set of Blades armor, hope you two don’t mind, but I’m going to take this and save it for a special occasion. I mean, I’m going to need something fancy to be buried in, right?
-Looks like Esbern and Delphine are going to clean this place up, let’s go Punchy, we have a few stops to make before we start trying to hunt down the world eater.
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| Story time with (crazy old) Esbern |
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