-Hey, yeah I know I said I was leaving but I just thought of something I can give you fine gentleman in exchange for the prisoner, *thwomp* body piercings.
-Draw that sword and you’ll be dead before your next breath! Punchy! That one was mine! Find your own guards to murder!
-Snuggleface and Punchy, get the guard on the catwalk! *thwomp* correction, get the other guard on the cat walk!
-Is this wine glass leaking? Better just drink it straight from the bottle.
-Three archers versus little ole me? That hardly seems fair.
-You boys should have brought more friends.
-*thwomp* One! *thwomp* TWO! *thwomp* THAT’S THREE YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
-Wait, No! I’m not done killing you yet! *casts Raise Zombie*
-GET BACK UP! I NEED TO KILL YOU AGAIN!
-DON’T FEAR THE REAPER! FEAR ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
-Also! Fear Snuggleface! His teeth are at groin level!
-NO ONE LEAVES THIS PRISON ALIVE!!
-Wait! The prisoners! They leave! also us!
-That’s it?! No one else left to fight!? IS THAT ALL YOU COWARDS GOT?! DAMN RIGHT IT’S ALL YOU GOT!
-I’m taking nothing off these guys other than the helmets, I want them to spend the rest of eternity with the worse case of helmet hair.
-Right, so... why did we just kill all these guards again? PRISONER... what’s his name.
Something-or-other Gray-mane. Let’s go find him.
-Locked door? Pfft! I’m a lock-picking genius!
-*30 broken lockpicks later* GOD DAMN IT!
-He must be in one of these cells, wait a second, what is a Thalmor Interrogator doing down here? These jokers are religious fanatics with dangerous ideals and zero tolerance for anyone that doesn’t measure up to their standards of righteousness.
-I don’t care how many rock creatures you can summon! You know who else doesn’t care?! PUNCHY THE UNBROKEN! I won’t even waste an arrow on you, you robed thug.
-From now on I will call all Thalmors, “Santorums”.
-The imperials are employing these savages? By that I can not abide. Looks like I’m a rebel. A handsome, well-dressed rebel.
-Gray-mane, let’s get you out of your binding and back into the light of day, we should hurry I’m afraid we may have repercussions from the um... negotiations for your freedom.
-It must be negative thirty degrees out here and you’re wearing a t-shirt? What are you, from Michigan? Put on a goddamn sweater or something.
-Into hiding you go. I’ll tell your mother you are safe. I’ll also send a message to the Battle-borns.
-Just to be clear, you understand when I say “message” I mean, “hunt down like dogs.”, right?
-Come on Punchy, much like doctors from the 1950’s, we have a house-call to make.
-Draw that sword and you’ll be dead before your next breath! Punchy! That one was mine! Find your own guards to murder!
-Snuggleface and Punchy, get the guard on the catwalk! *thwomp* correction, get the other guard on the cat walk!
-Is this wine glass leaking? Better just drink it straight from the bottle.
-Three archers versus little ole me? That hardly seems fair.
-You boys should have brought more friends.
-*thwomp* One! *thwomp* TWO! *thwomp* THAT’S THREE YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
-Wait, No! I’m not done killing you yet! *casts Raise Zombie*
-GET BACK UP! I NEED TO KILL YOU AGAIN!
-DON’T FEAR THE REAPER! FEAR ME! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
-Also! Fear Snuggleface! His teeth are at groin level!
-NO ONE LEAVES THIS PRISON ALIVE!!
-Wait! The prisoners! They leave! also us!
-That’s it?! No one else left to fight!? IS THAT ALL YOU COWARDS GOT?! DAMN RIGHT IT’S ALL YOU GOT!
-I’m taking nothing off these guys other than the helmets, I want them to spend the rest of eternity with the worse case of helmet hair.
-Right, so... why did we just kill all these guards again? PRISONER... what’s his name.
Something-or-other Gray-mane. Let’s go find him.
-Locked door? Pfft! I’m a lock-picking genius!
-*30 broken lockpicks later* GOD DAMN IT!
-He must be in one of these cells, wait a second, what is a Thalmor Interrogator doing down here? These jokers are religious fanatics with dangerous ideals and zero tolerance for anyone that doesn’t measure up to their standards of righteousness.
-I don’t care how many rock creatures you can summon! You know who else doesn’t care?! PUNCHY THE UNBROKEN! I won’t even waste an arrow on you, you robed thug.
-From now on I will call all Thalmors, “Santorums”.
-The imperials are employing these savages? By that I can not abide. Looks like I’m a rebel. A handsome, well-dressed rebel.
-Gray-mane, let’s get you out of your binding and back into the light of day, we should hurry I’m afraid we may have repercussions from the um... negotiations for your freedom.
-It must be negative thirty degrees out here and you’re wearing a t-shirt? What are you, from Michigan? Put on a goddamn sweater or something.
-Into hiding you go. I’ll tell your mother you are safe. I’ll also send a message to the Battle-borns.
-Just to be clear, you understand when I say “message” I mean, “hunt down like dogs.”, right?
-Come on Punchy, much like doctors from the 1950’s, we have a house-call to make.
Pictured: a man who should sleep with one eye open.
hahaha, Santorums! Very accurate actually. I have yet to go and save Mr. Graymane, but I think I'll head out and do it soon. Sounds like a lovely fight ensued.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fun quest, you should bring lots of arrows though, or mana or whatever it is that you kids use these days.
ReplyDelete