Day Eight in Skyrim: Hiking and Other Mistakes, Part 2 of 3

-The bandit leader is sound asleep, how? There was like, a ten person and one dog brawl two rooms away! Whatever, I'm not going to complain, just another easy arrowing.

-Not a bad haul between the bandit leader and her minions, but I have to admit none of this counts as treasure. Must be around here somewhere.

-I don't suppose the treasure would be on the other side of that hallway, you know, the one with all those swinging blades?

-Ok, Punchy just stay close, I've seen people do this in movies a dozen times. It's just a matter of getting the timing down between the blades and stepping out at the right time, like so, OW! AHH! WAIT! OH GOD! THERE EVERYWHERE! RUN! RUN BLINDLY!

-Phew, didn't think we'd make it, Punchy? ARE YOU STILL IN THE BLADES? JUST COME TO ME! YOU CAN'T DIE HERE! DON'T YOU QUIT ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE QUIT ON ME!
-Healing Hands go!

-You crazy lunatic! You can handle dragons but not a simple booby-trapped hallway? I mean, granted, that wasn't my most graceful moment either, but come on!

-What's that on the other side of the room? Behind those presumable dead zombies? Is that... a large crate filled with things?
-Gems? Gold! Chalices! RARE METALS! A mold!...? Ok, that last one doesn't seem too exciting but we're rich! When we get back to town I'm going to buy so many ingots!

-Ah, it's good to be back outside with the gentle breeze, the midday sun and dirty naked man running in my direction.

-You want me to hold these gloves? Wait, why? Don't just threaten me and run off! How am I supposed to take you seriously when you don't even own a shirt!?

-Hey there hunter, funny you should ask, why yes, I HAVE seen a crazy shirtless man with gloves.

-Look, let's just all stay calm, I'm sure we can sort this all out. Here, take your gloves back and.. YOU SHOT HIM! YOU SHOT HIM RIGHT IN HIS GODDAMN FACE! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!

-Listen, if we're just going to start face arrowing everyone who steals something around here the only people left are going to be the limbless!

-I know I'm not the one to cast stones in my little glass house bought with the gold of dead bandits but, I don't know, that whole exchange felt wrong. It didn't need to end that way. Ugh.

-Ok, fine. We were on this mountain for a reason... which I don't recall at all, let me check my journal. Right! Dragons and vampires, up the mountain we go.

-No more distractions, let's just get up this thing, kill ourselves a dragon and, oh look another house!

-In comparison to the last house this one looks less "suspect" and more "totally ruined".

-Roof is pretty busted up and in front are what I hope are two very large over cooked briskets.

-According to this note in the ruins it looks like a man and wife lived here, the guy knew things weren't safe but didn't want to admit his wife was right about moving off the mountain. He had to choose between being cooked in his own skin or admitting his wife was right. Tough call.

-Dear real-life wife, if you're reading this please know that the above comment was included purely to get a cheap laugh. I would never, under any circumstance, choose certain annihilation over admitting I was wrong.

-Primarily because I have been right about everything for the duration of our relationship. At least according to my charts.

-A campsite? This high up? How did they get this far without dying? The Oregon Trail had less casualties than this mountain.

-Also, what's with all the bees?! Wait, I can catch the bees? How festive.

-Exactly what am I going to do with entire hive worth of bees? What the hell was I thinking? Has anyone ever said, "Guys, I know things look pretty grim right now but don’t worry, I have A GIANT SACK OF UNBELIEVABLY ENRAGED BEES. It’s going to be okay." No one, no one has ever said that.

Like all mountains this one had its share of pests.