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Friday, March 22, 2013

Return to Skyrim, Day 14: The Lighthouse

-Welcome to scenic Alftand, our major exports are frozen corpses and despair.

-Jeez, what the hell happened here?! I count two frozen dead guys, one house that was burnt down, another that had its roof removed and another that is both missing a roof AND hanging over the side of cliff. I’ve seen less damage after a Mothra attack.

-Punchy, Meeko? This is going to be our most challenging mission yet, it will require all of our strength, energy and focus. Trust me when I say.... wait, is that a lighthouse in the distance?! I LOVE lighthouses! Let’s go there!

-What? It’s not like Blackreach is going anywhere! Hell, Blackreach probably isn’t even real! You were there Punchy, Septimus was two and a half points of crazy away from claiming his robe was made of beetles! You coming with me or not?   

-Ah, look at this place! It's so majestic! So beautiful! Sooo... decorated with a dead horse.

-Excuse me? Anyone home? We were just passing through and noticed that your horse seemed a little less upright than it should be.....

-*We enter the main living area and find ourselves in what resembles a crime scene; what remains, from what was clearly a struggle, is little more than scattered belongings, puddles of blood and two bodies--one of a large bug and the other of a woman*

-My... God. Right, let’s find out what the hell just happened here, according to her diary we have three MIA’s, a husband named Habd and.... two kids. *deep sigh*

-Hello?! Anyone else alive up here that isn’t a murderous bug?! Nope, no one else, let’s check the basement.

-Everything here seems to be in order, boxes neatly stacked, food stored away for the winter and a large hole in the wall that leads to the unknown. Pretty standard basement.

-We should move quickly, we have no idea how long ago the husband came down here in a bug killing blood lust, he and the kids might still be alive.

-Why are there little houses down here? Bugs don’t build houses, right? These almost look like Falmer houses... Damn it! I HATE Falmers, they have those weird little eyes and those terrible pointy teeth! and somehow those aren’t even the worst parts of their miserable little faces!

-I think... I think I see a holding pen in the next clearing. I only see one guard *THWAMP* and he won’t be a problem.

-*Prying the doors of the holding pen open* Your rescue is here! We....*sigh* we’re too late. It’s the girl...

-She left a note, sounds like her brother was dragged off by the Falmer and Habd was poisoned. This is not looking promising. Then again these are Nords, if anyone can walk off a poisoning it’s a Nord, right?

-Another clearing... don’t see any Falmers, let’s move... WAIT I WAS WRONG! GIANT BUGS! GIANT BUGS EVERYWHEEERRREEEE!!! AAAHHH!!!

-*In an instant Punchy is on the closest one, she brings her ax blade down on its skull and death is instant. I quickly draw back the first arrow and send it through the second bug's torso, his partner meet a similar fate*

-Damn it! It’s the brother... looks like he managed to get out of his pen before he died.

-I have to admit, this is the most depressing lighthouse I’ve been in all week.

-The path seems to lead to this cliff, look at it down there, it’s giant bug central! I can’t quite draw a bead on them with my bow from up here.... I just need to get a bit closer to the edge... just another inch....almost got them in my sights..... wwwwwwAAAAHHH!!!!

-Oh nonononoNONONO! I’M DOWN HERE ALONE WITH MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF BUGS! FIRE! FIRE FOR ALL OF YOU!

-Punchy? Meeko? ...guys?! GUYS?! FRIENDS DON’T LEAVE FRIENDS IN PITS FILLED WITH BUGS!

-Fine, I can do this alone. It’s not like Punchy is the hero and I’m the sidekick... oh god who am I kidding! That’s exactly how it is!

-*I enter a large clearing, it appears to be the center of the nest, several workers mill about the largest of the bugs in the middle of the room. I have found their queen.*

-*Twhomp!* This started as a goddamn rescue mission! *Twhomp!*  But thanks to you bastards all I have left is revenge!  *Twhomp!*

-Well now that your lackeys are arrowed it’s just you and I...king lizard versus queen bug...and if you’ve ever seen a nature show, you know who's going to win this fight...

-*The Queen charges, but it’s too late, my arrow has found its mark in her skull. She collapses to the ground, lifeless*

-Time for my favorite part of the job, checking the stomach contents of large dead creatures for treasure.

-What's this? Habd’s skull... oh... you poor bastard, those freakish little monsters fed you to the queen...

-*one slow walk back to the main basement level later....*

-Hey! Glad to see you guys are alive and well. The good news is I found Habd, the bad news is I only found his partially digested skull.

-*I find myself lingering in the main living space of the lighthouse. I  imagine this family in happier times, before everything fell apart. I re-read their journals in an effort to piece their past together in my mind.*

-According to his wife’s diary, Habd wanted to be cremated at the top of the lighthouse when he died... I know this isn’t exactly how he planned his end, but the least we can do is fulfill his final wish.

-So I guess I should do the eulogy or something?

-We are gathered here today to commit the earthly remains of a brave man to his eternal resting place... in the beacon of the lighthouse he so bravely tried to defend. He died with honor, and courage...

-May we all be fortunate enough to die with such purpose.


-Alright, we better get going or their are going to be a bunch more heroes to bury.

Habd's legacy: More useful than most legacies.

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